Just looking back...

Once again here i am, reading my own words and feeling embarrassed but also yearning to be back there once again. I deleted my previous "about me" little descriptions] but it basically said "here i am world fresh out of high school lets go!" its been a year since my last post and in the course of a year worked on the slope, i experienced a job that few people can say they've experienced, decided the money wasnt worth it, i've been to only a semester of college in byu-idaho, fell in with a bad crowd decided i couldnt trust myself too far away from home, moved back got a contract with the glenwood apartments of provo, had some amazing roommates that reminded me of what fun should really look like, had struggles and revelations and here i am still in my apartment working in a scale house for sunroc going day after day thinking time has forgotten me but the future is right on the horizon i need to shake off the dust and start preparing for it.
Its funny how when you dont have big plans or goals in the near future you feel like you drift off into the oblivion of time floating around doing your daily routine but not really "being" there.. everyone has a purpose, the trouble is seeing it clearly and knowing what you have to do to get there. Or for me its knowing and seeing but thinking "that day is too far away it'll take forever for me to get there, i think i'll just float around some more" to be honest i dont know how to get out of this funk, it comes and goes like an old friend the kind you dont look forward to being with but are obligated to entertain them once in a while because yall go way back, right? It comes from leaving behind the things that matter, and all thats left is the next day of work and living and i thank god for my family or where would i be without them? kind of a somber post, im hoping that no one reads this and im just entertaining my thoughts and imagination :P some things just have to be written and whats the point in writing if there's not a slight chance that someone might read it?